We’re really glad to see you here.
Transmission of energy has started, chakras have open.
While we are still connected…
Thank you for being here.
Here – An unfiltered, raw space. Space that in our owns headspace is full of everything…
Ideas thought about creating a relationship with self and others. Or rather, how not to…
Maybe games, funny stories, raw, random thoughts, which however silly, for the particular moment seem like pure gold.
Even something like pickup lines
Open wounds of the heart which start healing only when you open them.
And all of this in search of life truths, mistakes, to create a community where we can learn from each other.
We invite you to connect, participate, be here and let us show you, that anonymous honesty can go wild.
← Leiskite prisistatyti →
To be myself. Being here and now. Looking yourself straight in the eyes and feeling peace. Smiling and hiding nothing beneath it. Seems like it’s given, but so rare.
My mind just keeps ongoing. Like a clock. Time’s running. I begin to feel fear. So many things yet to be done, so many things to be felt and seen. The surroundings are whispering things… what to want and need. At times It’s challenging to differentiate between myself and what’s written into me by others. You choose to have a little bit of all. Running.
For the sake of the feeling that gets you on rare moments. When your heart goes wild unexpectedly. When the breathe you took goes down and you feel so alive. It’s so damn good to feel alive.
There are nights when it feels like you’re being torn apart. My surroundings seem to pressure me, and here I am, again, sitting in my head. No ladder or doors to escape it. Facing myself. Sad, but positive. One after another my mind dwells through time. Background music noises provide my mind energy and color. Drifting further through emotional horizons, dreams and wishes.
Sometimes you just smile out of nowhere, but the other times, you want to feel pity for yourself. Even disgust. Trying to accept myself. My responsibility for what’s happening in my life. I want to change. I want to live.
So many roles in life. Roles unbounded by any requirements. In relationships, career, family, even street with strangers.
You communicate as much as you like, strive and connect, or the reverse, run away from it all. We can perceive ourselves and play like we are whatever we like. Some are still looking for their role and mask, and others use several. Very few, the really happy ones are living In Love and understanding – I am enough, our differences are beautiful and remarkable. You accept yourself and mask become irrelevant. Just like that. Once the connection with your inner self is there, you become fulfilled, real, honest and full of love.
Idyllic, I know. I wish I found it. I can see it through the little keyhole and sometimes I feel it in the moment. Heart and mind are not working as a team. Head is full of naive beliefs and excuses:
There’s going to be a million more chances to fix my mistakes.
Thousands of times more to see my loved ones.
Hundreds more places to visit and things to try.
Ten more weekends to spend working and then I’m gonna relax.
One more cigarette and I’m done, no big deal.
Nice thoughts, you could say. But my actions are wrong. More is not happiness, and definitely not a must-be denominator. I’m in search. For the connection between my soul and mind. Morals and values. The gap between animalistic boldness and bohemian abstractions. Myself and You.
All doubts and questions are like fog. I take it in. Not letting it escape. Sinking in the feeling until I start to get it. And while I’m in it, I want to share it with You. To be completely honest, it’s probably;y egoistic of me. I’m doing it all to find my own path, but maybe, I can help you too.
Peace out, Fog. (a.k.a Rūkas)
Flow. The moment of creation.
Lost in the process.
You, so passionate and concentrated, incapable of caring about anything else. No work or family issues, bad weather conditions, or unfolding word problems. All of it can’t pass through that thick tall ‘American’ made wall. Like you take a breath of fresh air after being underwater too long. No rules that make you act on something you don’t want, no opinions to throw you in a different direction except the tingling feeling in the stomach like falling in love on your own. No fitting into boxes, making it likable, being polite or rude all the time. Just you. Only one opinion matters – yours. You start feeling at peace and so confident with what you doing as some higher power is leading your way. And it doesn’t matter if it’s new for you or not. You just do as you feel how it should be and a result is born.
Sudden shift. From process to product. Your mind starts analyzing and computing, comparing, and researching – how to improve, what to change, how to make it better. Will your colleague like it? Will your friend will send you big thumbs up? Will others see value? See passion? See your message? Your mood?
So sudden and natural change, that even you forget that the true flow moment was ruined. Something, which was perfect in the second started to be imperfect. You become a slave of others’ opinions, adjusting all that was you to us.
We need to stop doing that. We need to be let us be unique. We should stop needing acceptance on everything we do and just do it for the only person that truly is happy at that moment – you!
This is why I am here. Making mistakes, writing about things that made me happy and made me cried. The unfiltered hazy cluster of thoughts about my life. About feelings, which are deep inside and so hard to notice. I want to share, provoke, be silly and smart at the same time. I want you to be a part of my flow. To feel the moment of creation, unfiltered thoughts, and an imperfect perfection of my world.
Lost and happy. Grateful, while being mad. This is me and my 50 shades of haziness.
Love, Haze. (a.k.a – Migla)